How Colic Affects You

My son Tyler was born in the middle of the night after twenty-two hours of intensive labor followed by a C-Section. Despite the physical discomfort and emotional exhaustion of labor and delivery, not once did I think of the whole process as negative. It was a time of pure excitement and joy for me. This was in stark contrast to my experience with having a colicky infant.

Tyler’s first cries were truly ones of joy as I knew he was healthy and trying to communicate his hunger and recognition of the strange new world around him. His second, third, and successive bursts of tears, however, were a little more problematic. There was no pattern to his crying bouts. They arrived in a continuous nature with an increase in their volume and intensity. I had been a parent for less than thirty-six hours and I had nothing but doubts, anxieties, and real fear. I instinctively knew that something was “wrong” with my baby because no matter what I tried, no matter what tactics I pursued, Tyler did not stop crying.

At first, I attributed his crying to my own naiveté and inexperience and sought the outside help of nurses, doctors, and lactation specialists. My husband and I attempted to gain as much knowledge and support from those around us as possible. Unfortunately, we soon came to learn that even individuals with an expertise in pediatric medicine could not answer our questions. We expanded our search for answers by eliciting suggestions from people outside the medical profession. We consulted with mental health providers, neighbors, friends, and family—anyone who might provide us with some sort of helpful information to stop the incessant crying.

After only two weeks as a parent, I came to a daunting realization: Tyler’s day would be spent screaming and crying while mine would be a spiral of utter despair in not knowing how to help him. Gone would be family outings, a career, social calendar, consecutive hours of sleep, and even the ability to eat for ten consecutive minutes. Further, the futility of finding a solution would dominate my family’s life and every decision would revolve around Tyler’s unpredictable needs.

Research confirms that all individuals, not just parents, have an unpleasant experience upon hearing an infant cry. Responses to infant cries are very distinct. Physiologically, people experience changes in heart rate and skin conductance. Emotionally, they become more anxious, irritable, and impatient. Jason and I became hypervigilent to sounds that would awaken Tyler or set him off in some way.

I remember when Tyler was ten days old and some friends were visiting us.