I’ve come a long way from the days in bed, and I have needed every bit of strength I’ve gotten from every source I could. I am going through a divorce, and it is stressful fighting for your home, and support, and the right things to be done. At another time in my life I would be so upset, I’d be making myself sick. Crohn’s is actually self fighting self. And I know when that is. Now, I am just putting one foot in front of the other (twelve step program tool) and doing what I have to do... it will be over eventually. And I believe the truth prevails over lies and deceit. Either way, whatever outcome, I have to go through it. I can’t hide under my big fluffy down comforter and wait until it all blows over. I can’t drink to calm down, because I would do the opposite, and I wouldn’t waste thirteen years of sobriety on paperwork and mediations and courtrooms.
I pray to my parents, who I know can help me on the spiritual plane they are on, and I pray to Mary, and Jesus and God, for the patience and fortitude and strength to deal with life. Thankfully, I am going through this at almost fifty one, and may still have some good years left after this is over, and we know where we stand. I finally am in touch with my inner child, and how to calm it down, and comfort it, myself! What a Blessing that I figured it out while I have a life ahead of me.
