I was diagnosed with Crohn’s, and I will always believe it was a result of years of stress. I was in bed for most of the next two years. I managed to take care of my kids when I was alone, and lost them to their father during that time, as I wasn’t available to counteract his thoughts and actions he readily shared with his kids. Along with movies that were not appropriate for their ages. Depression set in at it’s deepest core, and I just wanted to sleep my life away. Eventually, I decided I wanted to take back my life and start to live again, and get my kids back from their father. This took a lot of yogurt, baby food, ensure, and whatever I could keep down. I slowly got stronger, and continued until I feel like I do today, drained, melancholy, but hopeful and not in that deep depression, and working on myself with a reflexologist who is the best. I’ve gained so much insight and wisdom and energy from going to a one hour session a week.
I’ve gotten all but my youngest child back, at sixteen, he doesn’t want to face his father’s inability to be a decent father, since he was always such a good friend!
But I’m making progress, and the older he gets, the more he’ll realize. I had been separated for 17 years, letting my kids’ father stay here in his own room for the time he was home. I knew my kids loved their father, and as long as I could monitor them, I went for it. Now, he’s gone, and will never come back, after twenty years in this house! Good decision!
So, even though I still feel we should take our decisions very seriously, I know that I wouldn’t have my kids if not for their father. However, I can say, if not for my kids, marrying that man was the second worst decision of my life.
The first was giving an ultimatum to the one whom my soul loves.
