Amidst all this excerpting, I’ve been in contact with several mental health organizations and will soon be doing a speaking gig for a local chapter of the Samaritans, and I’m also going to be interviewed for a Fordham University’s journalism student’s class project. But perhaps the weirdest and funniest thing I have done thus far? Autograph a book for Marilyn Manson. A friend of a friend’s son is good friends with him and agreed to pass it along. Apparently, he likes to be called “Manson” so I signed the book: “Manson~Stay Thongtastic! Rock ON!~Courtney.” Now—whether or not the lovely Mr. Manson himself ends up getting this copy or whether his maid takes it home on the bus with her has yet to be seen. But it still cracks me up anyway. If you think about it—it’s really not that much of a stretch...Lipstick? Check! Thongs? Check! Death? CHECK, CHECK, CHECKAROO....One never knows. As long as he doesn’t tell the Grim Reaper where to find me for at least sixty years—we’re cool.
I’m just following any and all leads and taking a deep breath before I plunge back in for the next phase of the adventure...each person that emails me and tells me their story or thanks me for writing mine is another light that goes on inside me. For a long time many of the rooms in my heart had the shades pulled and the windows and doors closed. Now—with each passing day, hour, minute and second, the light and air is pouring in brighter and sweeter...while the doubt and fear are leaving in increments with dark fluttering batwings as the doves arrive and nestle in peacefully.
Maybe that’s not very Manson-esque...but it feels pretty damned good. And I’m continually so grateful for the new friends and soul mates I’m meeting along the way, the old faithful ones who believed in me from the beginning...and the fun, crazy, wise and wonderful ones who continue to rock on and on into the question mark with me.
Let’s all take a deep breath & dive in together, shall we?
