I’ve been thinking a lot about, “Who do I wish to be?”
So tonight as I ran gingerly down the dark dune onto Ocean Beach I asked myself, “Who do I wish to be?”
Embers from a fire glowed like an orange eye.
“Who do I wish to be?”
Dead jellyfish bellies glistened in the lights from the Great Highway.
“Who do I wish to be?”
A flock of Godwits parted as I flew silently through their congregation.
“Who do I wish to be?”
I ran, chanting the question until I could run no more, and then I turned around and headed back. I passed a group of four, with a puppy, close to the shore.
“Hey, you wanna go skinny dipping with us?” Someone called out.
I stopped. “Are you serious? You guys are going skinny dipping? You’re serious?” It’s January and nearly nine o’clock at night. This is crazy, I thought.
“We are! This is his first time seeing the Pacific.” He pointed to his friend, a young man visiting from Connecticut.
“You don’t look like you’re ready to go skinny dipping,” I said, indicating their beers.
“We’re ready, we’re ready, really,” and First Time set his beer in the sand and began untying his shoes.
“You’re serious. I can’t believe you’re serious. I’m always trying to get people to go swimming with me. My mom’s going to love this.” I bent down and began taking off my sneakers.
“I’m staying with the dog,” the young woman said.
“Me too,” said the one who had called me over.
The three of us, me, First Time and Face (the only name I remember), were down to our underwear.
“Ok?!” Face said, and we were suddenly naked and running into the water and leaping over the waves, and then the water got deeper, and I dove under.
“Way to go,” First Time yelled.
We jumped up and down in the waist high water for a few seconds.
“It’s not so bad,” I said to First Time. He agreed. Face, as skinny as a reed, was ready to get out.
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