I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I actually found this out while I was in the local hospital (after a breakdown). I understand that there are many people living with this disorder. I am not judging the rest of the world. I had to spend fourteen days in a hospital to find out what has been wrong with me for over twenty years ...
When I was younger and had no stress in my life, I had crying episode several times a day. I was wondering what the heck was wrong with me. My mother would say, “Grow up and straighten up. Act like a grown up.” I was appalled at what she had said. I eventually got over it and went about my regular duties.
As I grew up and into adulthood, I had several relationships that went sour due to my “episodes.” My temper would flare for no reason at all and then I was alone again. I was too clingy, too affectionate, too emotional ... All these feelings I was experiencing were due to being bipolar, but I had no idea I was harboring a disease. I struggled with emotions that I was afraid of. I was alone for years and I was a single parent raising two young boys. They just hugged me and let me cry for no apparent reason (most of the time). In their innocent ways, they would say “Mom, it is okay and we love you very much.” These sweet kids helped me keep my sanity.
I have been several meds over the past couple of years and none worked until now. I still experience episodes of crying and temper problems, but not like I did before I went to the hospital. I have fewer or none at all now, I see my regular doctor regularly, and I never miss a dose of my meds. I have brighter days and sleep better at night and I have learned to not sweat the small stuff in life.
Nothing is impossible if you stay focused and keep an open mind when life throws things your way. Remember to smile at least once a day, help out a stranger when you can, and breath deeply and always count to ten (lol). I do, and I am healthy and happier than I ever imagined.
