- No one is perfect, so give yourself a break. Monitor self-talk (your internal dialogue) and encourage kindness, compassion, tolerance, and a light-hearted approach towards self and others.
The second most common fear that creates Type-A behavior is perfectionism masking a fear of not being good enough. To see if this fits you, ask yourself the following: do you revel in the shortcomings of others and feel better if someone else’s life seems to be going poorly? Or does the other person’s glass always seem just a tad bit fuller than your own? Do you start a lot of sentences with “if only,” and end up feeling like your life is waiting at the end of that sentence? Does your perfectionism always find the flaw?
If you answered a resounding yes to these questions or even a half-hearted one, try the following:
- Read The Four Agreements, by Miguel Ruiz and practice them, especially the first agreement, “be impeccable with your word.” Put a moratorium on judging yourself or anyone else for a week.
- Deal with feelings of chronic dissatisfaction by remembering the good in your life. Make a list at night of five things you are grateful for. Read it before going to bed and when you wake up. What do you notice about your outlook?
- As much as possible, be on good terms with others. Don’t compare yourself or your life to anyone else. This is not motivating, but draining. Look for the good in others and see what comes back to you.
These simple steps will help to clear fear and negativity, so your deeper motivation, what truly sustains you, can shine through. Being motivated by fear of any kind will always make your life harder than it needs to be. Use these tools to lessen your fears, lighten your load, and revel in a life that unfolds with more joy, ease, and productivity.
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