“Suffering is Optional.”—Cheri Huber
I am relieved that spring has finally sprung. There were a couple of days when Spring just teased me with hints of a warm breeze, only to have Winter laugh and blow me over with ice cold wind and slushy rain. And I suffered. Oh, did I suffer. “It’s supposed to be spring! It should be warm by now! On and on went the woe–is–me monologue.
I am speaking for myself and possibly a small handful of others when I say we are conditioned to judge our experiences as bad or good, right or wrong, desirable or undesirable. Because of our dualistic judgments, we suffer. The Buddhists say there are four causes of suffering, two of which are attachment and aversion. Some of us suffer because we want to hold onto what we have and we create a lot of tension in our lives trying to do so. The other bunch of us suffers because we are constantly in a state of aversion, or avoidance and resistance to the reality of what is. People usually bend toward one or the other, but of course there are some of us who are gifted at both. This is a no win situation simply because the nature of the universe is that everything is in constant change. Everything, whether we love it or hate it, is impermanent. Just when we think we can’t stand another storm, skies clear. Just when we get what we want, it changes. Have you ever had that happen?
When we moved to Salt Lake City last summer one of the first places we discovered was an edgy, artsy, slightly mangy, albeit very cool, coffee shop. We walked over every morning, the sun warming our backs, the sounds of our neighborhood awakening to the new day. So much comfort came with that routine, especially since we had just moved across the country and everything and everyone was new. And then, to our great dismay, a bulldozer came in and tore down the entire strip, coffee shop and all, just when we’d gotten attached. How about aversion? Is there a particular person or situation to which you find yourself contorting emotionally and physically to avoid? The maintenance team at our complex is always sand blasting, painting, and yelling out to each other. There is no peace here. I resist it with all my might only to find that they are still there, sandblasting, painting, and yelling. It’s comical actually. One would hope they run out of things to fix so peace can prevail. But since all things are in flux, that probably isn’t realistic. In the meantime though, wouldn’t it be nice to cultivate that peace within, by realizing that this too shall pass?
Aversion and attachment are two sides of the same coin; this coin buys us nothing but unnecessary suffering. They come from our ego’s belief that we actually know how things should be. Who are we to know? Is it possible that we don’t have all the details and that we can’t actually see the big picture? In no way am I suggesting that we shouldn’t take action on things that have meaning to us and causes that touch our hearts. I will suggest however that we would have a lot more energy to focus on those things that are meaningful and productive if we liberated ourselves from attachments and aversions to things we have little control over. I apply this to my yoga teaching as well. Where can you let go, in order to free up energy for the muscles that actually need to work? What ideas can you release about how you should look in a pose so you can actually benefit from the pose you are in? What complaints can you let go of so you can liberate your energy to make a contribution? For me, that means closing my windows, making my own cup of decaf, and focusing on writing this article. And of course, letting go of my attachment to you enjoying it!
Recommended Reading:
Suffering Is Optional, by Cheri Huber
When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron
