When I was eight years old, my mother found out that my cousin was sexually abusing me. When she found out, I was so scared. My abuser always told me to never tell anyone or everyone would be mad at me. It seemed to happen that way. It seemed like my whole family just disappeared, like they wanted nothing to do with me. I would have to say that, that hurt the worst. My mother tried to comfort me, and get me counseling, but my way of thinking was just to not think about. To push it so far back, to where I wouldn’t have to think about it, and that is what I did. It seemed to be working ok until I found out that my abuser had died in a car accident. When I found out that, my whole world just seemed to come crashing in on me. I was so scared, so sad. But, what makes the situation worse, was at his funeral, my step-dad at the time, said “I’m glad he is dead, because I can’t believe anyone could do that to you.”
I will never forget those words, because two weeks later, I woke up one morning to find my step-dad standing over me. I woke up and asked him what he was doing, and he replied, “You were grinding your teeth and I was just making sure you were ok.” I didn’t take any threat into it, because I do have a history of grinding my teeth, it wasn’t until the next morning that my world once again came crashing down. The next morning I woke up in a frantic mode, because I felt someone grab my breast. I woke up in shock, but my body was frozen. I just lay there, and once I came out of my state of shock, I realized that my step-dad was standing over me again, but this time he was masturbating. I sat up and scooted to the corner of my bed. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he tried to tell me that I was grinding my teeth again, but I didn’t believe him. I told him that he needed to get out of my room NOW !!! He tried to come closer, and I told him if he came any closer I was going to scream. He left the room and left for work.
