I Still Hurt

I’m a thirty-one year old woman living in the Dallas Metroplex. I decided to get on here and tell my story, because I’m still suffering. Well, I was sexually, mentally, and sometimes physically abused by two family members. I try to put it behind me, but it keeps coming back. It went on for about eleven years of my life until one day I got the guts to go to someone and tell. Of course no one believed me, well a few people did. But I felt so free. As if I was held hostage for years. I’m still holding on to that same fear. There are times when I cannot even remember and there are times it affects my marriage. I do not want to lose him at all. I’ve even tried talking to him about it, but it really doesn’t work. I’ve got to the point where I can’t stand sex at all. I’ve even went as far as sleeping with the same sex. I just don’t know which way to turn anymore. I do know I have to look out for the interest of my children, which at times is hard. Why, because my being abused has affected some of my mental state. I have to be by myself at times and just cry. I don’t believe anyone loves me during my time of depression. I’m writing to seek out help from someone in the professional field or someone whom has experienced this. I still hurt and I’m tired of so much pain.