Trying to Find a Way Back

Thank you for the comments.After awhile you start thinking your the only one out there. Not that this is good. But sometimes you need and outside view, to make sence of what you are going through. And with kids it makes the dession harder. Iwish the best for use and send a prayer for you, that you find the strength to do what`s best.

Keep you head high and be strong. Reading what you wrote hit home. I have been with my babys father for a strange off and on eight years. We now have a little girl named Joy. She will be a year old on the seventh. But anyways back to how we relate in a way. Fear, not knowing when, how or where you are to go from here. I am stuck and fear of what the outcome will be if I decide to cut our ties. Just recently in the last year is when the physical abuse started to take place. It hard to disconect from someone I am so attacted to for what reason I do not Know. I grew up with no disire to become a mother or wife. Wathing my parents divorce, living in disfunction, being abused for the majority of my life form the ones who were supose to protect, charish, and guide me through to adulthood have engraved in me that I didn't want to hurt or put anyone through a life to be dependent on me for life skills. I am scared and don't know if I should try to stick it out for my daughter or leave him

I am touched by your story.. i have had a similar painful past experience with my sons father. He was in a abusive relationship as well , the guy that i have known and loved became a complete monster. I had suffered 8 yrs of pain and neglect. I had totally forgotten who i was. I felt as though i was stuck as stale mate. I was in a relationship that i was not able to see through to the future. I felt that i had no life left in me and the only person in my life that kept me strong and gave me faith was my little boy. well one day after all these years of pain and torment i finally had enough courage to leave on my own. But now i am back in the circle, though this time around he has become a brand new person. I finally found the man that i was once in love with. But i still cant trust him no matter how much he has shown me that he has change. I am still afraid. I am still scared.. I dont know how i can lived a brand new start. The scars are still there The wounds havnt heal yet.