Understand isolation tactics.
One of the first things an abuser does is isolate his victim. He will do everything possible to alienate her and separate her from people in her life who might offer help and sympathy, or contradict the negative things he tells her about herself. He may demand that she move to a place far from the support of family and friends. Abusers do this to maintain power and control over their victim and the relationship. Do what you can to maintain contact and a relationship with the person who is being abused. Let her know you care and will not stop caring, no matter what happens.
Let her know you are concerned about her. Abusers often isolate victims from friends and family members and then tell them over and over that no one cares about them or what happens to them. And, even though it may not be true, the victim begins to believe this. So it is imporant to not give up—even if she leaves her abuser and returns multiple times. Even if she tells you that she is fine and you don’t have to worry. Even if she allows herself to lose contact with you for a while. Don’t give up no matter what happens. Try to make having contact with you easier for her. Buy her a cell phone or disposable phone or pre-paid calling card so that she can call you when her abuser is not around. Make sure she hides these things in a safe location away from her abuser. A pre-paid calling card call will not show up on her home phone bill.
Help make a safety plan.
It is absolutely crucial that someone who is being abused have a safety plan in place for herself, even if she thinks that she may never need it.
