Subversive and Obvious Forms of Abuse
Everyone thinks they know what abuse looks like—broken bones, blackened eyes, gashes or cuts—but there is a deceptively large array of forms abuse can take. Your co-worker or best friend could be abused without you even knowing it. No form is considered less severe. It all hurts, it’s all battery. Let’s have a closer look so that you know what to look for.
By definition an abuser is a person that controls others using a variety of methods including:
- Scratching, punching, pushing, pinching, kicking, spitting, hair-pulling, arm-twisting, kicking, tripping
- Threatening to hurt you, your children animals, valuables, or other property
- Messing with your mind by hiding important things like shoes, keys, projects, ATM cards, or photo identification
- Forces or guilts you into undesired sex, forces intimacy
- Expects favors for sex
- Controls the finances
- Comes between you and your family, friends, or personal interests
- Calls you names, swears at you, chides and belittles you privately or publicly
- Thinks they are the boss, always right, above challenge, remorse or questioning
- Intimidation
- Is scary, makes you walk on egg shells of fear, is unpredictable
- Withdraws affection due to some perceived wrong you’ve committed (sulking)
- Envious, jealous, and suspicious
- Controls your important papers (deeds, leases, bank papers, etc.)
Love Not for You but of Power and Control
Abuse is calculated and men of all walks of life and education levels are capable of becoming abusive. Abuse, battery, and domestic violence are one in the same, and they are all about power and control. These acts typically have little to do with the survivor’s actions if at all—the perceived power of the perpetrator and the desire to control the survivor is what matters. Abuse can happen to any one regardless of race, social, or economic status, gender, religion, ethnicity, ability level, or age. Here are some of the specific types of domestic abuse:
Emotional/Psychological Abuse
The perpetrator belittles and humiliates their partner, uses threats, intimidates, calls him or her names, harasses, and encourages isolation from friends and family. Emotional abuse can exist concurrently with physical abuse or often escalates leading to physical violence, so it is to be taken seriously. This is a particularly pervasive form of battery and it is hard to recover from.
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