Flinging open the door, you step into the cool dark recesses of the joint, and an idiotically smiling receptionist greets you with a small paper cup filled with water and another with a pill that looks suspiciously like a Prozac, you figure, what the hell, in for a penny, in for a pound, so you quaff both and in minutes you’re just floating along, not giving a damn about anything.
A little while later, this sinister, tall gaunt, completely bald, man comes and escorts you down a long hallway, his white lab coat flapping gently in the flow of air as you walk.
You’re placed in a room and then the Jolly Old Botox Injector himself comes in with a fluid filled syringe, he looks at that one tiny wrinkle that You just went absolutely ape shit insane over, mumbles some incomprehensible nonsense and begins to giggle crazily as he injects you with BOTULININ bacteria.
OOOOOOOOOOOOKAY! Now let me get this straight, you risked life and limb and dignity to get someplace to have some wacko freak with a syringe that giggles like a lunatic to get a shot in YOUR FACE, not to mention the following facts.
Not only did you risk life limb and DIGNITY, by the way, please incinerate that ugly bathrobe will ya. You paid Good money to have yourself infected with BOTULININ. What is wrong with that picture? You are now infected with a potentially killing serum. Have you forgotten that Botulism kills?
So what happens if your metabolism goes crazy and the supposed wrinkle killing serum you PAID to have injected in your face goes into warp drive and spreads through your body like wildfire and the next day you get up and stumble and weave your way to the bathroom, you look in the mirror and see that your skin has changed into the this sickly greenish gray mass of suppurating pustules and your right eyeball has slipped from it’s socket and is just sorta laying on your cheek like an ill used teabag.
Who ya gonna call huh? You gonna call your significant other and just rave on and on about the wonders that the Botulism bacteria did for you? NOOOOOOOO! You are going to go absolutely ape shit insane again and try to drive to the nearest hospital, which ain’t gonna be easy, what with your right eyeball now beginning to leak it’s vitreous fluid and all, you’ll be lucky if you’re not pulled over by the fashion police, because you did not lose that bathrobe, and now you’re wearing squeaky ducky slippers, and once you do get to the emergency room, do you really think they’re going to welcome you with open arms? NOOOOO! Because you look like something out of Stephen King’s worst nightmare, not mention that robe and those squeaky duck slippers.
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