A Mother’s Grief

My name is Pauline. I am here to tell you a little about myself and my family. I am a single mother of five gorgeous children, three boys and two girls. I am also a grandmother. I have been married for thirteen years and I wish I could say it was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I don’t know the meaning of happiness anymore, my children and I were in real danger from my husband who changed himself from being a loving husband to a giant monster and a bully. He became so aggressive towards us I couldn’t understand what had happened to him, or what I had done to deserve the hell he put us through. I am a victim of domestic violence, verbal, and physical abuse. My children and I suffered together in silence for several years. Maybe you would say, why didn’t you leave him? My answer to you is, I was too scared and weak. There was no one I could trust anymore, there were times when I think the whole world is against me. Whenever he became physical I would seek legal help from the police, sometimes I would even invite the minister from church to visit our home and offer counseling advice to my husband and to pray for us, but suddenly he became the victim.

My only way out was to run for my life and leave my children behind thinking that was the best thing to do. I was so afraid of this man; he became a total stranger to me. The justice system didn’t work for me. Whenever I called in the police they were always late or maybe just couldn’t be bothered. My husband would often times be the winner. He knows how to make friends with the law, he would always find someone to help him manipulate the system. We are not together anymore and I thank God for saving my life. I started making plans for my children so we can be a family again, but life is full of surprises. Just when I thought I had everything under control, this is what happened.

My youngest son was murdered in Jamaica. His name is David Andre Coates; I gave birth to him on the August 2, 1985. He died on January 13, 2008. He was so young and progressive, but the gunmen stole his life away.