God, Where Were You?

After the recent shootings at Virginia Tech, it’s hard not to wonder where God was when tragedy struck. If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why didn’t He protect those innocent lives? Why didn’t God step in and foil the killer’s plans? Better yet, why wasn’t God there for the killer leading up to that tragic day, helping that young man to feel the love and acceptance that he clearly never experienced?

It’s a question that great thinkers like C.S Lewis and Harold Kushner have pondered for years: how can we reconcile the existence of evil in a world created and controlled by a God that is good? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this question that so often turns people away from the idea that there is a God.

I have recently been working with my therapist on the importance of being able to recognize and express anger when I experience it. I would never consider myself to be an angry person—far from it. People would probably say that I’m too nice. I guess it is sort of a cover up. I’ve come to realize that I experience quite a bit of anger, more than I would ever care to admit. Recently, however, I have begun to explore what it means to really allow myself to be angry. I’ve been working on identifying anger when I feel it and expressing it in healthy ways. I’ve discovered that this is actually a much healthier way of dealing with my emotions than trying to pretend that they are not there.

When the shootings at Virginia Tech occurred, I was able to recognize that I felt angry. I think we all did. It was a senseless tragedy. As I explored my anger, I realized that not only was I upset with the young man who took those innocent lives, but much of my frustration was also with God. I couldn’t help but wonder why God didn’t step in and intervene. If God is good and God is actively involved in our lives, how could something this tragic happen? I find myself desperately wanting answers. I want the way God works in this world to make sense to me. Couldn’t God see how many people, like myself, were questioning Him and doubting Him because of this tragedy? Why would God let something like this happen?

I have a tendency to only want to feel positive emotions.