I realized how lost I was shortly after my twenty-first birthday. A pastor told me I was “saved” when I was fifteen. He asked some questions that I said, “Yes” to. I didn’t feel any different, but I trusted that he knew what he was talking about. Nothing really changed as far as my behavior or lifestyle. It was life as usual until one Sunday morning. My husband and I had gone out with another couple the night before. We didn’t get home until after two in the morning. I had to teach Sunday School the next day and I knew I wouldn’t get enough sleep. I went to church, taught the little ones, struggled to stay awake for the service, and left immediately afterward. I crashed for about three hours and awoke to the realization that I had never given my heart and life to Jesus. The next afternoon, my pastor and a visiting preacher came by my house to invite us to a revival. As we spoke, I confessed my sinful state, accepted Christ as my Savior, and began repenting with the help of the Holy Spirit.
I have known many hard struggles throughout my Christian walk. I’ve battled cancer, spinal surgery, arthritis, fibromyalgia, congestive heart failure, and diabetes. Death tried to take my daughter twice and attempted to take my son years later. I’ve lost people that I dearly loved, been hurt by people that I thought loved me, and hurt a few along the way that I love. Life is about the choices we make and the consequences thereof. Becoming a Christian doesn’t pave a smooth and easy road to travel. Our Heavenly Father does expect us to increase in knowledge and wisdom, becoming stronger, more mature Christians through the reading of His word, praying, worship, and walking through the fires of life with Him. We still have trials and tribulations, but never without help.
Through the years, I thought I could see my faith growing. I taught Sunday School, Discipleship training, Acteens, Girls-in-Action, and counseled the youth. Everyone talked about my “strength” in the Lord. I am now fifty-two years old and my understanding of faith is still being challenged. You can know all there is to know about a subject and still not have understanding. Knowing the definition of faith and understanding what faith is, are two different things. Faith isn’t as simple as believing in something.
