As I look back over the past year of my life, there are actually few things that went they way that I wanted them to. And some of the very best things that I experienced were the things that I didn’t want to happen at all.
For example, about this time last year, my husband and I were in a time of transition with his career. We had to make a fairly major life decision about where we were going to live. We ultimately decided on what was probably one of the places that sounded the least appealing to me at the time. I was hoping to move back to the South, where we both grew up, to live close to family and friends. Instead we’re settling into life in the Midwest, where it is frighteningly cold in the winter and our closest family members are a nine-hour drive away.
Although this was not exactly the plan that I’d made for our lives, it has truly been the best thing for us. I’m really enjoying our new life here and the challenges that have come with our location have helped me to grow in ways that I would not have otherwise.
In addition to deciding where we would live, we’ve also recently been thinking about whether we’re ready to have another child. Once again, I desperately want to be in control. I would have thought that my first bout with infertility would have taught me that I’m not in control of if and when I have the opportunity to be a mother. Now, as I long for a little brother or sister for our daughter, I’m again reminded that I am not in control.
When I look back on the birth of our daughter, I can clearly see how perfect the timing of her arrival was. Close friends that were born within months of our daughter are affirmation of God’s plan. After what were painful months of waiting impatiently through infertility, God’s timing for the arrival of our daughter was clearly better than what I had in mind. As we wait and pray again, I can already see that it is God who is in control, not me.
