Unwinding: Finding Spirituality in a World Ruled by Judgment

I came out of the womb under the umbrella of expectation. This premise has led me to always look ahead toward the goal, the carrot, the safe haven of <you name it>. Parents, society, friends, even Hollywood, reinforced this way of thinking: get good grades, behave “well,” get into college, get a good job, get married, have babies, have wealth and security.

Spiritually, I was raised Catholic and therefore taught a lot about what not to do—how certain actions would result in certain outcomes that are unsafe, unacceptable, unloved, unwanted. Growing up at church, I felt less spiritual and more constricted, controlled, regimented, cold, and hungry. When I did feel comfortable in mass, it was merely from the unrealized ceremony, repeated through years of family tradition. Little did I ever hear what I was reciting or confirming or think about the words in the songs I was singing.

At this point in my life, things have changed unexpectedly. People have behaved in a way I would not have anticipated. Life has taken me from my home in Texas to places around the world that were safe and unsafe at intervals I could not have effectively predicted. These experiences introduced a new spirituality, one that exposes almost the opposite of what I got out of my religion at a young age.

A good deal of my current inspiration is borne out of Buddhism. I am certainly no expert or scholar on the topic. However, it has impacted me profoundly and, in a way I continue to appreciate each day, I put simple aspects into practice. I fell into it through yoga, a practice I found really complemented my future-oriented, anxious, achievement-disposed, measured-by-expectation self. I started to relax my mind and focus on my breathing.  I started to listen to my body before, during, and after my classes. My teachers incorporated quips and quotes and readings in classes that made me want to reach out and find more of this inspiration. So, I bought a few books.

One of those books sits on my mantel and I read a quote from it every day. Some of them really hit home, some of them sail over my head, but there is something meaningful in turning the page and taking in what is often a real piece of wisdom that truly affects my thoughts and behavior, that inspires me to act in a way that feels true to my inner nature.

Some common themes emerge:

Live in the moment.