When I gave birth to my second daughter, I was already prepared by my first delivery and natural childbirth classes to expect to experience “transition.” This is the point where the pain and discomfort of labor reaches its greatest intensity. Yet, it is actually a sign of being on the verge of complete dilation, and delivery is usually imminent. I knew not to panic if I felt overwhelmed, because it would not last long.
As it turned out, my transition was brief, and I gave birth to another beautiful, healthy baby girl. But because my entire labor from first contraction to delivery only lasted two and a half hours, the whole process was accelerated. At the point of my greatest distress, I did not recognize that I was in transition. Thinking I had another five hours to go as with my first labor, I became alarmed and worried I would be unable to withstand the pain until my baby was born. Had I known I was in transition, I might have been able to relax a little.
I’ve since gone through other transitions—spiritual ones—most of which (again) I failed to recognize until I had examined them in retrospect. The last one I went through lasted so long, I realized my very core was being altered.
I felt as if life was forcing me to give up some very deeply held—and formerly unconscious—values and ideals that had always been a part of my personality. The future I had dreamed of was not going to be mine. I could have held on and continued to try to make it happen, but I knew this was futile. I sensed something more powerful urging me to relax and stop trying to swim upstream.
Although I’ve changed my mind on many occasions, I do not consider myself a quitter. So, for a while I wouldn’t give in to my inner voice urging me to “let go” because I worried it was my lazy voice. I wanted to make sure that giving up the fight was really the right thing to do.
