Armed with a new resume and new confidence, I began to send out resumes in application to positions that will glorify God, utilize my gifts, and promote my own growth as an individual and a Christian. The advertised jobs were scarce so close to Thanksgiving, but I remained optimistic. I accepted that it was unlikely that I be working before Christmas. I shopped in an abbreviated manner for Christmas gifts. I stopped expecting the phone to ring with a wonderful job offer and began to panic. Advertised jobs became scarcer. “God,” I prayed one evening after paying the household bills, “I really need a job here.” As I prepared for bed that night, I realized that my bracelet was missing. I mentally retraced my steps through the day and determined that if the beloved bracelet wasn’t in my car, it was gone forever. It was too dark to be able to see if the bracelet was in the car, but I took a flashlight outside anyway. I traced the path that I walk between the house and the car and then shined the flashlight’s beam in the narrow crevices inside the car. Assuring myself that God would never forsake me, I knew that I would find my bracelet during daylight hours.
The sun came out bright the next morning, but still no bracelet. It was gone. I ran a Google search, determined to replace the reminder. I got 475 hits but not one match for the missing bracelet. I reasoned with myself, that even if I had found a replacement, I wouldn’t have been able to afford it. Just knowing that I would be able to replace it would have cheered me.
I struggled to find acceptable jobs to apply for. My unemployment claim depends on a consistent, serious hunt for work. I made an appointment with my financial advisor to go over my immediate financial concerns … making my mortgage payment, keeping the heat on, buying groceries … Just how much of a tax hit will I take if I take money out of my 401(k) instead of rolling it in its entirety into an IRA? I sat down with my monthly bills and tried to figure out if my child support check, unemployment checks and minimal savings will keep everything current until I can file for my tax refund at the end of January. What if I’m not employed by the end of January? The panic kept creeping in on me. I constantly kept reaching for memories of times in my life that God has brought me through times filled with insurmountable obstacles.
