Psalm 143 (New International Version)
A Psalm of David
O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah
Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
For your name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
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I have been having arguments with god for years, angry at him for letting all the bad stuff happen to me and my family. I blamed God for all the bad things, in my mind, if he is my father, he should protect me, especially since I am a good person. Good or bad, bad things happen, I know that now.
The last of all the stress I could take happened a week ago, I just couldn’t take anymore, so I put the curtains down in my bedroom, closed the window and door and stayed there, sleeping at times, watching TV at other times, just feeling really sorry for myself. I spoke to no one. Not that I have anyone to talk to anyway. I have my husband but he was the one that delivered that final bit of stress. I had been knocked down mentally so many times that I didn’t have the strength to get up again. I refused to get up again, I thought, if I stay down, there would be less of a fall next time.
