It silenced me…She had always been like this. 19 years back, when I had met her first, she had been a naïve young girl, barely out of her teens. Her innocence was endearing but her confidence absolutely amazing. I had worked at avoiding her, but there was no resistance to be built against the sweet rapture she filled into my soul, when her eyes settled on me with utmost devotion. She was a child, in the guileless, unconditional devotion she expressed to me. But the sheer purity of her devotion, made her so big, that each encounter with her, left me feeling a little dwarfed. My Maya, I once called her. A Fantasy. A fantasy that refused to stay one, no matter how hard I tried.
She is coming tomorrow, she said. Its too hard to believe, I have put the thought out of my mind, as I go about my daily routines, the boss , the plethora of instructions, the wife and her demands….the mundane…I let that take over. I had to. She doesn’t realize, how she upsets the rhythm of my life, each time her soul connects to mine. It takes me a long to re-establish my frequency…..I was fighting myself, I knew. But I wanted to believe, even now, that I could keep it a fantasy. That she will not find the courage to change that. But a part of me knew always, that I was being foolish. There was no doubt, that she had the courage to change my fantasy into reality. She had enough courage for the both of us. And come she did. My phone rang. Her slightly sleepy voice…I love her voice, a very distinctive ring to it, I never miss to recognize her…Hi!...she always starts the conversation like that. The sigh, which is hidden behind the “hi”, always clutches at my heart, thawing away its frigidity in moments….Aren’t you coming? She asked.
It wasn’t a fantasy anymore. The fantasy shall die today! My heart thumped against my chest. The question of morality didn’t arise. It was only the moment ahead that existed. The rest of the world had receded….like a Banana peel. She had peeled all the layers of my life away, in a single deft stroke, leaving me completely naked and alone. How can there be moral misgivings when there was no World, no God, no Society, no nothing anymore…just a suspended ball of moments with me and her, trapped within.
