What Will I Leave …

I turned fifty-four on December eigth and all I wanted to do was cry. I am not sure if it was because I was happy to be blessed with another year or because I looked back at my life and saw everything I hadn’t accomplished. I know that is no way for a woman of faith to feel, but let’s face if ladies we do feel like giving ourselves pity parties every now and again. I guess it’s okay as long as we don’t stay there. Don’t get me wrong I am truly blessed with five of the most wonderful kid’s a parent could ask for and seven of the greatest grands anyone could hope for. As for the tears I guess I just felt as though I’ve made so many mistakes in my life I really am not where I should be in life according to society but that is where we live. In a world where success and material make us who we are or who we want others to think we are. I can rest assured that even though I have no material legacy to leave my children I have one of the most precious gifts anyone could ever leave the ones they love. The Truth. That God gave His only begotten Son so that we would be saved therefore leaving us with a responsibility to give this to those who come after us.

It hasn’t always been as easy at it sounds for me. My children were all following the wrong crowd etc. … sometimes I even felt they didn’t care much for me and I can’t say I blame them. My children as I am sure many others out there have experienced a hard life because of the choices I made for myself. It wasn’t until I truly and I mean truly began my walk with My most precious Jesus that I noticed my children, now grown, do think I am great (I’m smiling). I remember trying to make them feel what I felt and tried to jam all of Jesus in them so that they would not make the same mistakes that I did.