Sympathy and Hope in Loss

If you are suffering from the loss of a loved one, may I offer my deepest sympathy and understanding of shared pain? I believe it is healthy, very healthy, to allow yourself to feel the intensity of the pain from your loss. This is how you will heal. Quickly forgive those around you who may look at you as though you’ve lost your mind. Breathe deeply, cry, rest, eat properly, move about, and talk with God. Scream at Him if you need too. If you cannot utter a prayer or praise of any sort … that’s OK too. Just know this … that this grieving process will be horrible and precious at the same time. You are closer to God’s heart at this moment than ever before.

Do not be surprised when the pain holds on a very long time … maybe years. Take time away from others to really let it out! It will be necessary to express the pain and it will relieve the stress. I found it to be hard work, to be around others … even in church … especially in church. No one realizes the amount of effort it takes to maintain control of your emotions in public after the death of someone close to you. God will be your greatest ally, but if you can find a grief support group, that would be good too.

Just in case there is anyone else out there who questions his or her sanity like I did, I want to tell you what I learned. I need you to know that your feelings are normal … and should be expected. Your loss of clear thinking and motivation is normal. It can take years before you see value in the worldly and daily happenings again. Eventually you will gain a new and broader understanding of the spiritual world where God rules and reigns. This will give you an eternal perspective … this is good. Be comforted by the knowledge that life will improve … not instantly, but gradually. You may not even recognize the progress until you are beyond the process. Trust me on this … in time it will make some sense; you will grow in the knowledge of the Father; and Jesus will give you supernatural glimpses of His never-ending love. He will lavish on you what you need and what you cannot get anywhere else! He needs you to know that He is all you need … and you can live through this loss. Believe me … you will even be a better person after enduring and over-coming.

I must stress again the need to forgive those who offer absurd comments and advice but who are not yet acquainted with grief.