I’m grateful for having the discipline to not go down the addictive path. Seems I steer towards the sleepless nights, weight gain, and pains in the neck and stomach instead, which is no day in the park either. At first, it was a bit awkward telling this to my stranger/therapist. Though, the more we talked, it felt therapeutic and right. Interestingly enough, Alex was able to empathize on many levels of my confessions.
Since I’m agnostic, this was my cathartic spiritual release that I was enjoying immensely. Ironically, I learned that Alex had also gone through the “Oh my god you’re in your early thirties and still not married yet?” plight crap. Like him, that question and concern luckily doesn’t phase me anymore. I happily made peace with that fact a long time ago. I’m a firm believer now—if it’s meant to happen it will happen. If not, so be it.
I think back to when I used to care what my judge and jurors thought. Justifying and selling the reason why I was not society’s golden child. How I was a victim of divorced parents when I was nineteen years old and how it affected me. Why my long-term relationship went awry. Blah, blah, blah. My childhood friend had given me great advice a few years ago. He said, “Instead of meeting others expectations, be yourself by meeting your own. You live your life, your observers don’t live it for you.” He’s right, you know. Think about it. How true is that sentiment? Screw the soul-sucking societal spectators!
That same friend had also given me another solid peace of philosophy on life by having the courage to be true to yourself and the ones around you. He pointed out how it’s much easier to be deceptive and cover up your true thoughts and feelings for the sake of another person’s feelings. The guilt that one endures by being deceptive is far worse than dealing with someone disagreeing with you or not living up to his or her expectations. When I finally had the courage to put these words of wisdom to use, I truly felt better and improved as a person on a whole. I’ve also noticed that over the years, being true to my heart, head, and instincts has paid off greatly. One of the many benefits is not having to deal with negative repercussions from others. Not wasting energy by trying to appease everyone around you while neglecting yourself, your desires, and needs. Those reasons alone are well worth the practice.
