Why did I think I was miserable because of the nine to five gig? Though it is an attributing factor, that really wasn’t the issue at all. I now know it’s a mixture of everything I mentioned to Alex and then some. Most importantly though, it’s the dream. One of my dreams that never came to fruition. The harsh reality that I have finally had the courage to acknowledge. Tears start to fall from my eyes as I detour from my lost dream and begin to tell Alex about one of my Dad’s dreams that never came true.
I was a little girl at the time, but I remember vividly at a family wedding where my Dad sang a song so eloquently and how all the guests were amazed by his performance with loud accolades and a standing ovation. My uncle said, “Such a natural talent that wasn’t able to be shared with the world. Only us fortunate few can relish this beautiful experience; it’s truly heartbreaking.” As my Dad walked toward our table, he picked me up, giving me a big hug and kiss on the forehead. I asked him about what his brother said and meant. My Dad looked at me with a half-smile, nodding his head down. Sitting with me on his knee, he began to tell me his story of growing up poor on his family’s farm in Italy. His father and siblings had to work from a young age to help support and feed their large family during war time. My Dad’s gift of song and talent emerged when he was a young boy. His family always boasted happily how he was always singing.
By the time he was in his early teens, his family started to put money aside for him to study opera. My father had studied for three years with the skill to becoming a strong talented force in the opera world. Sadly, times were very tough, especially after the war. His family’s monetary conditions had taken a turn for the worse. My father made the painful decision to stop his musical studies to work full time, despite his family’s pleas for him to continue. My father knew they couldn’t afford his studies, and going to bed hungry every night solidified his decision. My Father lost his dream very young and he said that some days the “what ifs” crossed his mind. He said the dream he was most proud of coming true was becoming a successful business owner with a close loving family “who will never go to sleep hungry.” He assured me that when some of your dreams come true, it eases the heartbreak of the ones that unfortunately got away.
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