It was September 15, 2005. My mom’s birthday. We always did the normal “Herb’s BBQ” birthday dinner. This year my mom and I discussed doing something different, really due to the big blow of all the new chain restaurants that hit a local town. We decided to hit the other end of town and trying out the new Ruby Tuesday’s. Well, it was a hit of course. Wal-Mart was just across the street and my mamaw Freda needed to run by there before she called it a night. My little brother, DJ whom was five, begged and begged to go with her. My mom opposed the idea because he had school the next morning. Being a five year old, that wasn’t good enough. Deej (that’s what we all called him) sneaked off into mamaw’s car and that was the last we saw of the two. I remember watching him creeping along, and sinking down in the window as they passed, only seeing his little brown eyes. Later that night, they were hit head on by a drunk driver. My mamaw’s car blew up three different times. It was in complete blaze and my dad and I were there to watch. We didn’t recognize the car. It was a good thing.
Now, nearly three years from now, my dad and I have the EXACT same dreams. Over and over again. Deej comes to see us. We (Deej and I, but it is the same for dad and Deej) play and play and play. Then we snuggle and have our love time. Deej was a VERY affectionate child. He loved to snuggle. But the irony of it all is we BOTH know he’s gone. We BOTH know it’s only for a visit. I shared these dreams with my dad and he stated the EXACT same dreams. We were the only one’s to witness the accident. I do have different dreams, but to me, they have relations with events that have happened that day, for example. But the “visit” dreams always stay the same.
For the record ... I miss my mamaw SOOO much. She was like a mom to me. But it’s different for my baby brother. Feelings, dreams, EVERYTHING. I do dream of my mamaw, but she is always telling me to let go, or somewhat pushing me away. She was a VERY independent woman, and I think that is her way of saying “don’t hurt over me, I’m in a MUCH better place.”
So can someone tell me, in my dreams … is it Deej?
