One major life change for a woman is her sexual awakening. Greenfield also addresses the sexual nature of women’s dreams. During a sexy dream, women experience true physical arousal; our genitals become engorged, and we may experience orgasm. Furthermore, a healthy sexual dream life can actually improve our waking sex lives. We hone our physical senses so that they are more in tune during the real deal, and we can use the fantasies we cultivate in dreams during actual sex play. Freud didn’t just have his pants on too tight; it’s true that dreams can be an agent of sexual desire.
We may not be able to get down to it with that gorgeous cashier at the A&P, but we can live out our fantasy at night and no one else will be the wiser. It is this privacy of dreams that I miss most. Although the science goes far in explaining the mechanics of dreaming, it mostly neglects the creative and spiritual sanctuary that is dream life. In dreams, we feel we reach a higher level of consciousness. If you believe in a higher being, connection to that being may be part of this elevation. The Bible portrays dreams as communications with God, and many indigenous cultures attribute some spiritual or ghostly element to dreams, especially in predicting the future. Whatever we believe, dreams allow us room to explore. Dream life is a part of waking life that is ours alone. Whatever thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations we undergo in dreams are absolutely impenetrable to anyone else unless we choose to divulge them. Dreams provide the safety for our imaginations to run wild; our minds can escape their daily repressions. We can face our fears in dreams, knowing that we can wake up at any time. Without my dream life, I felt I had no private life, nothing to set me apart from the crowd.
So I set out on a mission to regain what I had lost. Since, according to my research, we enter REM cycles only after a period of deep sleep, I focused on my state of mind before going to bed. To rid myself of restless anxiety, I began yoga meditation and deep breathing. Before turning in for the night, I took a shower or bath to wash off the debris of the day and inhaled calming scents like lavender, chamomile, and sage. I set aside bedtime as a time for rituals, all of which guided me toward that restful pathway to REM sleep.
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