I Wish I Had the Courage

All the confusion and smoke. I can’t tell if its real or not. The pain in my head wont stop and the people keep walking and walking thru the smoke. The beatings stopped. The hands across my throat stopped. The humiliation and taunting and evil eyes boring through my soul telling me I was lucky to be spit on, it stopped too. When the buildings fell down everything stopped and got quiet. I’m leaving now. I just can’t do this anymore. The separation of reality and the pain in my head became one and it all just stopped. What is real and what is behind my eyes? The TV went black. It’s over.

God is good. I’m ok now. My child and I are healing. It’s been years and it will take many more. I’m scared, she’s angry, but we function generally well. We have good hearts; kind souls and we try, every day, to be better people.