Since he passed I have only had one dream if him and it was not a good dream. I was trying to find him and he was at a friend’s house but when I went there to get him he had left. When I asked the friend where he was she told me he had left because I was trying to poison him. I went looking for him but could not find him and I woke up.
I am concerned that he thinks because he was in the hospital so long and suffered so much that he thinks it was my fault. He trusted me so much and did I fail him at the end? Should I have let him go long before he did? Has he lost faith in me?
Other people in the family have had dreams since he died. Good dreams where he is telling them he is ok or that he appreciates what they are doing or what they have done. Why after all the connection I had with him over all these years would he not come to me and let me know he is ok?
I know without a doubt I had that connection to him. I always knew when things were going to go wrong. Why not now? What does this mean? I need to know that he is at peace and that he doesn’t think I let him down! I just kept praying each day the next would be better and yet they weren’t and he did suffer so!
If you have any insight into this please let me know because I need to feel that connection. I need to feel that he is ok and I know he is the only one who can tell me.
