On the Road: Elbows and Family Bonding

By: Kate Carter (View Profile)

One infamous trip to Ohio, my parents moved my brother into the middle seat to see whether that would calm nerves. It didn’t. Then they moved my sister into the middle. That didn’t help either. So my mom moved into the back seat as “peace keeper,” allowing my sister, the oldest, to move into the front. Within five minutes my mom and I were elbowing each other, arguing about who was encroaching on who. She denies elbowing me to this day, but I know it’s true.

By the time we reached West Virginia, the backseat wars had usually settled, and we all focused on the treacherous, yet beautiful scenery. We passed semi-trucks chug-chugging up the steep mountains, and occasionally saw truck drivers turn off the road and steer onto unpaved uphill paths because they worried their brakes wouldn’t take the descents. It seemed like a different world as we passed tiny houses sitting on million-dollar views.

We usually arrived in Delaware, Ohio, a small town thirty miles north of Columbus, some time between 1–2 p.m. It was the start of a fun week romping on my grandparents’ ten acres, eating fresh tomatoes, corn, and blackberry pies for dinner, and swimming in their freezing cold pool. I never really remembered the drive home—possibly because I was too tired, or less excited, or just spoiled by the uninterrupted time I’d already had with my family.

I want to create a tradition for my family, but things do seem so different. Will I pack food like my mom did? Will we rely on familial conversation and the alphabet game for entertainment, or will we give in to the DVD player craze, just to make things easier? Will we even drive, or in three decades will my son write stories about the airport in the 2000s?

I do know this: those trips were special, and I wouldn’t change one thing about them. Not the tuna sandwiches, not the loathing we all felt for South Carolina, not the uncomfortable cot or my dad’s snail-paced driving. In fact, I wish we could all go back and do it again.

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posted: 03.14.2008
Sharon Tavares
I loved your story. We have had many trips to N.H. in our dodge ram 12 passenger van. We just sold it about a month ago. No need for it any longer. It was sitting in the driveway too much. Many memories made in that van. Our three kids haven't complained that it's gone, yet, but next time we look at the videos or the photo albums, we will feel a sore spot for the big green bus. It was only a four hour drive but our many trips to N.H. were the most fun ever. As a kid, I didn't get to go anywhere far away but my godparents did take me to Maine/Canada when I was 10. They also took along a man named Jean. He was my godfathers best friend. He was like a grandpa to me. He was looking forward to going there and speaking French with people. The trip in my godfathers r.v. was long, but I had my diary. The second day we were there, Jean died while teaching me how to dive in the pool. One day I'll write the story :( but we love keeping road trips fun for our kids, although I won't forget Jean.
posted: 03.12.2008
Jeffrey Lewis
I comment as the father of the author. I mostly remember the music and the group singing on these trips. The elbows are very hazy in my mind, though I think Kate's brother got more hits from his sisters than he gave; at least that is what he has told me over the years. The music: Anne Murray singing The Tennessee Waltz, Willie Nelson singing the appropriate On the Road Again along with those Kate mentions - all still in my mind today. I don't think I was such a slow driver, by the way; just careful because of the precious cargo. Then again, I don't think I'm a slow driver today, though everyone seems to disagree. What fun we had in Bessie; at least it was pretty good behind the wheel in the front seat. Kate's older sister was usually in the middle, just as I was back in the 50's - the responsibility falls on the oldest. Kate's story reminded me of hearing Elvis for the first time on the radio in 1956 - probably in Georgia - singing Hound Dog and Heartbreak Hotel.
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