Our attitudes about sex have evolved since the dawn of the sexual revolution in the early ’70s when sexual promiscuity was considered liberating. The ’80s ushered in a sense of responsibility with the fear of AIDS but the advent of drug discovery has quelled that to a degree. Today’s attitudes toward sex may be harkening back to the days of sexual liberation with a nod toward responsibility but is that just for our health? How do we strike the balance between a sense of liberation and responsibility without emotion becoming the collateral damage? And in the meantime … How do we decide when it’s time to take sex on vacation?
My friend Mike called me a couple of weeks ago wanting suggestions on where to spend a long weekend with, as he so aptly put, “this girl” he’s been seeing. As I started rifling through some suggestions in my head, I thought it would help if I got some background on “this girl.” “How long have you been seeing each other?” “What type of vacation atmosphere are you looking for?”
He was sketchy with the details, as men usually are in the beginning when talking about someone they’re dating, but I could tell he was trying to play it cool about how he feels about her. Playing it cool when talking to the boys usually means a guy is really into some girl and he wants to avoid looking sappy. Unnecessary male bravado? Yes, but there’s a kind of ritual to the sharing of information between men about a girl we’re interested in. While women tend to focus on the details of some “new guy” with their friends, explaining everything in narrative, men try to keep a low profile until the relationship becomes more serious. It could be that by talking about it, men think they’ll jinx it or something—weird, I know.
Mike began by telling me he had met this new girl at a party a little over a month ago and they have been seeing each other more than twice a week ever since. Call me cautious, but it seemed a little premature to be planning a vacation. He quickly disagreed, which clued me in that he had started falling for this one. He said he wanted a beautiful scenery-escape type of thing, maybe a beach or a cabin in the mountains. Whatever the location, he was aiming for relaxation and romance. Of course, what’s the next question anyone would ask?
