By the time I reached 160, my thumb and index finger were swollen and numb. Foot-high stack of cardboard coupons in hand, I went upstairs to begin filling them out. A roll of address labels took care of some of the writing; I added my frequent-flier number, and I was done. Then I saw the fine print on the bottom of the coupon: "Allow six to eight weeks for processing." I was leaving in three weeks. I would call Kellogg's on Monday to sort things out.
By now I was late for a party, a slightly overdue celebration of Mexican Day of the Dead. Guests were to bring a memento of a loved one and place it on an altar above the fireplace. Reverently, I placed a box of each kind of cereal on the mantel. "In honor of Gandhi," I whispered. It was a sure-fire conversation starter and a perfect segue to getting complete strangers out to my car to buy my cereal. "Hi, I'm Lori. Say, are you folks breakfast eaters?" Perhaps not the best icebreaker, but next thing I knew, those who recognized a great bargain when they heard one were out front buying eight boxes for $20, a steal for them, a small return on my investment for me.
Two people said they would love to help me but didn't have any cash or a checkbook. I gave them my card, said they could mail me a check and sent them on their way with arms full of fiber. One guy never sent me a check; I figured it was his karmic debt to pay in the next life. I drove home 60 boxes lighter.
Monday morning I phoned Kellogg's headquarters in Battle Creek, Mich. The customer service rep told me my award coupons could not be expedited, explaining, "If we make an exception for you, we'll have to make one for everyone."
"Everyone who goes out and buys 160 boxes of cereal? I somehow doubt that's going to be a problem," I barked, holding my bandaged hand to the phone. Following my motto of "the squeaky wheel gets the grease," I hounded Kellogg's day after day, demanding to speak to a higher-up. Finally I got someone to expedite my claim and give me an actual person to whom I could express-mail my coupons.
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