The Many Contradictions of Puerto Vallarta

By: George Holeman (View Profile)

The statues spaced evenly along the promenade were a revelation: gods and goddesses swirling in a maelstrom towards the palms, twisting in the midst of physical transformation, looking down upon their thrones, and ordering their monks to build them a ladder to the heavens. The synthesis of these sights and sounds created the atmosphere you crave when traveling southward. If you want history and refinement, if you want the waltz, go to Europe. But if you want creativity and vitality, the samba, the salsa, or the tango, go to a place like Puerto Vallarta. As the sunset waned and spread it’s pinks and oranges across the horizon, we passed the Cathedral of Our Lady Guadalupe that towered over the town, turned left along the brine river where children were still playing, and walked through a faintly lit open market shaded by banyan trees. Finally, we crossed the river and curved back towards El Malecon. 

Then, the dream unraveled. The very last building on this paradise corridor was in fact a Hooters.

Now, I’m a red-blooded American male. In certain situations, I might be willing to listen to arguments that Hooters itself is paradise. But not here. Not now. Not in the middle of the “Romantic Zone,” two hundred yards from the Virgin Guadalupe‘s cathedral, in the village of Puerto Vallarta, in the state of Jalisco, in the nation of Mexico. Our visions of salsa and tango were eclipsed, and in their place we could see the insidious bumping and grinding of drunken college kids.

And then as quickly as it had appeared, the nightmare faded. We found ourselves on the streets running parallel to El Malecon, amidst restaurants of all styles and art galleries filled with daring and intriguing work. We walked past gift shops filled with regional crafts, scrawling down names and addresses so we could return the next day. Struck by that overwhelming desire for food brought on by a few sunset margaritas, we continued up the hill, eventually passing out of this suddenly discovered art district. It seemed as if we had been transported from Mexico to Myrtle Beach, and then to Chelsea, and then to Mexico once more. We were diving through wave after wave of varying culture, having to travel no further than a block or two for something new. 

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Comments
posted: 02.04.2008
Abbey Jane
I am headed to PV for my up coming honeymoon...I can't wait. Is there anything you suggest we definitely don't miss out on? We're staying in a very cool B&B the first few nights and then heading down the coast to the El Tamarindo for a few nights. Then back to PV. Let me know. Thanks!!
posted: 06.29.2007
Sarah P
In light of Paris Hilton's recent, self-proclaimed transformation, I think she might be in need of a new city persona as well. Perhaps you will be able to enlighten us on this in your next picturesque travel article!
posted: 06.28.2007
George Holeman
One of my friends got all up in arms because she thought Lindsay Lohan should be Tijuana, rather than Cancun. Fortunately, I've thought all this out. Britney Spears is definitely Tijuana. I don't really think that needs much more explanation. There are also any number of places that might be Maggie Gyllenhaal: exotic looking, interesting, artistic, yet suddenly overexposed and somewhat tiresome. It's still cool, but you just keep bracing yourself for it to sell out. I suppose whatever city Maggie is is a logical next step for me in Mexico.
posted: 06.25.2007
Katie Daley
I have been to PV before and you really nailed my feelings about it! I can't wait to head back to Mexico.
posted: 06.25.2007
Jacinta O’Halloran
I've never been to PV but your evocative description has me watering at the mouth and itching at the feet to go. I loved hearing of the background of this destination and the very real current contrasts to be found there. Thanks so much for sharing! I hope you will share if you go back for your level two immersion in Mexico.
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