With the refrigerator stocked, it was time to advance my French vocabulary. I worked out my standard phrases to use as disclaimers before I spoke to anyone:
- Step 1: apologize for my hideous French
- Step 2: try to ask my question
- Step 3: ask if they speak English
Most people know enough English to make it work. Their English typically eclipses my French, which isn’t saying much.
I started taking a French class once a week. We took an avant-garde approach and convinced our instructor to teach us things that we needed to know immediately instead of memorizing lists of verbs and random vocabulary. One of the first things we learned was how to make a rendezvous. We practiced our scripts and made our faux appointments.
A couple of days later, I needed to make an appointment for the pediatrician. Script in hand, I dialed the telephone number. The receptionist—who is kind, but one of the two people in Switzerland who doesn’t speak a lick of English—answered with what I imagine to be the standard office greeting. I launched into my half of the dialogue. Amazingly, she responded with what was typed on my sheet. Feeling confident, I said my next line. Then, I have no idea what she said. She went off script! My long pause and “uhhhhhhhhh” must have tipped her off because she retorted with “the tenth at nine hour thirty.” I enthusiastically said, “Oui! Merci!” A proud moment—my first appointment. My French instructor was proud.
Unfortunately, we had a run of bad luck and I found myself with a sick baby. This time it was on a weekend, and there was no receptionist to practice my dialogue with. I called the médecin de garde (doctor on call) to get in touch with the pediatrician on duty for the weekend. After looking up the French word for vomit, I enlisted my three-step approach for getting things done. The broken conversation, complete with long pauses for me to look up vocabulary words, led me to the Nyon hospital clinic. She was fine and I can laugh about it now, but nothing freaks out a new mom like a vomit-covered French dictionary.
