The “I’m with Idiots” Tour

By: Emilie Rohrbach (View Profile)

Our mutual friends said I was crazy. They said I couldn’t do it. They shook their heads and looked down, unable to meet my eyes out of fear and sorrow. But there was no stopping me. I was asked, and I couldn’t say “no.”

How often does a girl receive an invitation to join four guys on a twelve-day, semi-cross country trip? For the sake of the entire female population, I felt I had to go. Important mysteries could be answered that might release us all from years of strife and confusion. It would be an adventure, of course, but almost more important – it would be a science experiment. 

I flew from San Francisco to Jackson Hole, Wyoming during an evening thunderstorm. Hot red lightening struck over the Grand Tetons as my little plane shuddered, and I felt a great sadness that I might perish before ever embarking on my journey. Meeting me at the airport were Conner, one of my best friends from college, Matthew, Conner’s friend from his volunteer service days, and James, a mutual friend of both Conner’s and mine. Chris, Conner’s best friend from high school, would be meeting us the next day and be with us only for the next six. From Jackson Hole, the plan was to travel to Yellowstone, through parts of Idaho, and then across Oregon and back down the California coast.

As the mastermind of the trip, Conner had certainly put together a motley crew. Conner himself was quite the evolutionary story: after a harrowing experience left him praying for his life, he found God and became a cool Christian. Smart, handsome, and a decent guitar player, he even looked a little bit like Jesus. Conner met James when they worked together as campus ministers during graduate school, and they were the supreme Odd Couple: James at 6’3” towered over Conner at 5’8.” Both were sincere, open-hearted, and ridiculously goofy. I had never met Matthew or Chris before. My impression was that Matthew was kind of a lone wolf, the sort of person who blew wherever the wind took him, and Chris was the complete opposite, a clean-cut corporate guy who worked in Manhattan. How I fit into the picture, I still don’t know.

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posted: 06.22.2008
T H
This is my favorite piece on this website this far. You made me want to go back to all of those places again....and your exposition at the end- about men being a lot like your girlfriends- is so very true and real. Thanks!
posted: 05.13.2008
Catnip
I dont know if people would like literary suggestions for their writings, I know I hope to get feedback of that sort, so i'm giving it a try. Frist of all, your style is delightful and engaging. I think because of the limited space-time factors, i found a couple of places jerky and halting. Of course expansion would eliminate these problems and i think the piece is worthy of additional time and effort. It's really quite promising.
posted: 12.30.2007
Gigi Loving
Emily: A wonderful story as evidenced by the minutes spent waiting for each page to appear on my screen. For a lesser piece, I would have bagged-it and moved on. I wish DivineCaroline would allow stories to appear in long-form so that we could read them all at a stretch, without having to break break break to go to the next page. In spite of all that waiting, thinking the woman in the photo needs to take up indoor cycling, I found it funny and fun, evocative, and charming. Thank you!
posted: 11.27.2007
Janet Surber
What a wonderful story. I do hope you can all get together again,but indeed it will not be the same. Keep up the writing,you have a gift.
posted: 10.27.2007
Wildbark
I loved your story, it reminded me of some of my camping days. Three days of the "Man Plan" was all any of us could take! I hope that you continue to write many stories, you have a wonderful, gifted flare for writing.
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