Has anyone asked you to marry him yet?
Add yet another country to the list where I’ve received a marriage proposal. This time from a modest peanut salesman called Michael who hangs out in front of the hospital. He asked to talk to me one day at 4:00. That particular day, I had to go negotiate with some sex workers to get them out of a nasty boycott they were staging for our study so I blew off our appointment. Not deterred, Michael waited until I left the office at quarter-to-six and asked to walk me home. (I did not ask him to carry my books.)
He started off saying “Li-li-an.”
I interrupted to say “Leigh Ann.”
Again, “Li-li-an.”
Again slowly ‘Leigh Ann.’
The third time he got it and in a rush of words spat out “Leigh Ann, Iloveyousomuch.”
And so it went from there—the request for marriage, the feelings of his heart.
He followed a week later with a promised ‘gifty’—which he delivered a day after asking, “Are you excity?” (My second favorite question in Zanzibar—can I offer you sleep support? remains hard to beat).
In the end, Michael and I compromised. I gave him a little money for English classes—because he asked—not because my sense of humor is that warped. Although, it probably is. He gave me cashews and Colgate toothpaste in a pink gift bag with roses.
I declined his offer for wedded bliss.
The Goddess has granted you one single wish for the people of Zanzibar. What would it be?
The men to go blind so the women could take off their veils.
And since no one asked “what was the most recent moral outrage of your life here?” I will enlighten.
My co-worker Hussein, formerly of rock star status for being the one who called to offer sleep support, came into my office two days ago and asked me to give him a table. At this time, three people were sitting at it for a training session. I told him “Hapana. Impossible.” Swahili-English for “not a chance, buddy.” Hussein left and I thought the matter was resolved. When we finished using the table for that purpose, we moved it back to its typical location for the role where we use it everyday like we have been using it for four months.
