Shopping for 9 to 5 Oomph

When it comes to wardrobe, I’m all about versatility. I generally have no problem coming up with the appropriate look for most any occasion. For a Goth fashion show, I wore my lace-up velvet and brocade bustier; for a hippie friend’s potluck, I donned my calico skirt; for a punk concert at a dingy dive bar, it was my German army jacket, and so on. But when it comes to dressing for the office, I’m at a loss. I have the basics, of course, like black pants and white button-down shirts, but nothing exciting. So, I’m on a mission: I’ve got $500 and an entire day to spruce up my work wardrobe.

First stop: Anthropologie. This may seem an unlikely place for office-wear, but a fun, printed top would be just the thing to jazz up my boring basics. Proudly bypassing the too-funky or too-casual sundresses and such, I gather an armful of tops and hit the dressing room. Horror of horrors! Half of these tops are cut with an empire waist, making me look pregnant and the other half are much too low-cut for any kind of workplace, barring the Playboy offices. I press on.

Next stop: Banana Republic, which is laden with office-appropriate clothes. Nothing pops out at me, but determined to give it the old college try, I consider the rack of cotton button-down tops. The mint green one is kind of pretty and the French cuffs are really nice. I try it on. Negative. The sleeves are impossibly long and there’s really no shape to it. Ugh!

Bloomingdales. I am immediately drawn to a mannequin donning a stunning rust red wrap dress with kimono sleeves. A saleswoman sees me salivating and leads me to the dress, designed by Dana Buchman and priced at $350. Despite the price, I try it on. It’s 100% silk and has a long, lovely sash that can be wrapped around once or twice. I feel amazingly sophisticated. Not everyone could pull this off, and to be completely honest, I can’t either. Maybe in my next career …

After ruling out the dress, I try on two skirts—one cream, pleated and flared by Ralph Lauren for $111 and the other a grey and white geometric print wrap by Calvin Klein for $138. Both are 100% silk and perfectly nice, but none too exciting. I make a mental note and carry on.

Ann Taylor’s next.