Adult Playdate: What to Where

Damn, my hair looked too good. I tried to unperfect the perfect straightening job by slapping on a little extra smoothing balm to make it look greasy, and then pulling on and off a tight woolly hat to achieve a convincing head of I-didn’t-try-too-hard-hair. This was my first playdate and I didn’t want to alienate my potential new friend by looking too pulled together.

Jessica and I had exchanged phone numbers and noncommittal we-should-get-togethers months previously, but it was an accidental encounter earlier in the week that had lead to actual plans for breakfast. Our kids knew each other so we’d chatted a few times at sports or school events, but never without the distraction or crutch of the kids. She needed help translating the lyrics of an Irish song, so we made plans to meet after dropping the kids at school.

A kid-free playdate.

I could wear white if I wanted to … but white in winter might be too eager. Black? No, it might be too slimming. Pink? Too girly. Floral? Trying too hard. Grey? Yes, grey. You really can’t go wrong with grey—it’s stylish but it’s also just grey, and grey is just fine. I settled on a light grey cashmere hoodie—the hoodie kept it casual, and the cashmere would keep me warm. Perfect.

Now, what to wear with the hoodie? Definitely not a dress. The one thing I had learned in my years of dropping kids to school is that out of respect for (read “fear of”)  the other moms, you just don’t wear a dress until at least 11am, with the exception of jersey dresses (a jean alternative) in summer, and only then if worn with flip flops and a chipped pedicure. It’s part of the unspoken mom-code. Lip balm not lipstick, antiperspirant stick not perfume, and sneakers or flats, not heels. Hats are appreciated because they imply unbrushed hair, and an effort to hide it (rather than comb it). It’s okay to look like you’re off to the gym, just not okay to actually mention it (unless you follow up with self-deprecating references to your fat ass and lumpy thighs).