He’s not gay. He’s not even really metrosexual. So, why does my husband have more shoes than me? He’s breaking all the stereotypes of the materialistic wife that needs a separate closet for her shoes. Imelda Marcos would die. But, everyday I wake to the reality that he never has a problem finding shoes for an outfit, and I do.
How did this happen? Well, truth be told, he has a size thirteen shoe. So, unlike me—the average eight and a half—when we go to the upscale discount stores (I love that oxymoron), he always finds a steal on the shelves for under $100. How so? Well, he always wears flats. And he doesn’t care that the guy next to him is trying on the same pair of shoes. He doesn’t seek out the impossible shoe-find (i.e., the sensible, yet fashionable, yet sexy, yet perfect suede brown, not too high, not too flat shoe). He doesn’t try to match shoes with outfits.
I should be happy about this situation, but I’m not. Why? I want the shoes, damnit! I’ve tried many different approaches to building up my shoe empire in hopes of conquering his, and I’m going to share them with you.
One for him. One for me. When the hubby and I hit the rack or the basement for fashion discounts, I make it a point to shop with him first. He gets my undivided attention. Because he has the big foot and no agenda, this usually doesn’t take too long. And with me there, urging on his shoe addiction, he’s likely to reward this support with a trip to my side of the store and spend all the time necessary to find me a pair too. This is not trickery, ladies. It’s strategy.
Seek the online goldmine. Men rarely have the time or stamina required to search Zappos or Bluefly or Shoes.com for that gem of a shoe bargain. Sure, they can surf ESPN for stats and various Triple X sites for…well that’s another story, but they would never look more than a minute online for shoes. This is our goldmine, ladies. We can get two pairs of shoes online for everyone one he finds in the store, and still at a reasonable price.
