Brazilian Waxing Exposed: Let ‘Er Rip

By: Rebecca Brown ( Little_person View Profile)

I’ve often wondered how many precious minutes of my life have been lost while I was locked in the privacy of my bathroom, warming a small strip of Sally Hanson wax with my 1800 watt hairdryer, preparing to coif my seemingly uncoiffable bikini region. I usually wonder this as I’m chugging a vodka tonic, doing deep breathing exercises, and enjoying those last few peaceful seconds before I pull the strip off.

You probably know the rest of the story because it might have happened to you once or twice. The strip comes off with four measly hairs, the wax gets caught on some hair that you weren’t intending to remove and you’re left with a Sally Hanson wax-strip icicle dangling between your legs. After enduring the pain of yanking that off, you realize you’ve now got a couple of bald spots in places you don’t want to be bald.

Not long after one of these unpleasant experiences, I came across a story with a quote from San Francisco skincare and waxing goddess Marilyn Jaeger in reference to Brazilian bikini waxing: “If you want to sell the house, you’ve got to mow the lawn.”

Marilyn’s wisdom caused me to reflect on my own home and lawn, which was currently on the market but lacking any interested buyers. I decided that I needed to be ready to sell when a buyer came looking so I made an appointment at Marilyn Jaeger Skincare to take it all off, Brazilian style. Almost as soon as I made the appointment I wondered what the hell have I done?

For years, I’ve heard horror stories of the Brazilian bikini wax. Getting down on all fours, raising a leg like a dog peeing on a tree, spreading my butt cheeks to allow a complete stranger to apply hot wax in the most private crevices of my body...these didn’t seem like things I needed to rush out and experience (at least not in public). Friends of mine—amazing women with high pain tolerances who’d squeezed ten pound babies out of a ten centimeter hole—told me they’d cried from the pain of a Brazilian. What was I doing?

Summoning my courage, I decided that it was time to shed light on the truth behind the Brazilian. If I was scared to do it, there were bound to be other curious, scaredy cats out there too. I powered on.

The salon is located in a gorgeous Victorian home in San Francisco’s Presidio Heights area. I was comforted upon my arrival by a friendly staff, beautiful décor, the delicious smell of clove candles, and a nice stout glass of white sangria. As I gulped down the sangria, I worried they were trying to get me drunk to dull the pain. I drank faster.

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Comments

To J.C. Ferrel - Simply put, it feels better! Pubic hair is nothing but a nuisance. I don't understand how anyone is comfortable with it! It is in the way during sex. It is in the way for summer clothing like swim suits, well, for those of us that were blessed with the genes that grow the hair way down the inner thighs! It is in the way when cycling, especially if your hair is thick, coarse and longer than average. Another big cheers to the gene pool! In my life, pubic hair has been a big nuisance and destroyed my general enjoyment in life, summer time in particular. Every single time I have had someone say to me "oh, I have a spare swimsuit you can wear" I have had to say no, in some unrevealing and innovative way. Many thanks to this article I will now brave this procedure from a professional rather than a boyfriend. Hopefully for the first time in my life I can say "great, lets go" next time an offer of loaned swimming attire comes my way.

Excellent article! I always wondered what it was like for a woman to experience a Brazilian. As a man, some find it strange that I regularly get Brazilians done. I love it and it does make intimate times better with greater sensitivity. Finding a person who knows what they are doing is a must. I've experienced different technicians and have discovered that there is only one I will return to again and again. I'm glad you found this experience to be enjoyable and like your new look. Good luck with everything else!

Rebecca, I read your story on a day that happened to be "feather waxing" day for me, too. I laughed out loud and enjoyed every word. Then I was delighted to see that you are my friend (can you get more middle school angst than that?!)...whooppee. Great story, perfect description, and nice ending quote! Here's to clean, clear, and landable! Michele

This is a really funny story. But I don't understand why people still do old-fashioned waxing when permanent laser hair removal is available. It takes longer (about a year), pricy, and more painful, but it's really worth it!

Great article but I have to say this manicured look leaves me cold for the most part - Is it possible someone could explain why this is so popular these days - in my world this is something you do on occasion to spice things up not a way of life - matter of fact I prefer the primitive jungle look - all the way to preferring that the upper thigh not be shaved - ladies you are beautiful just as you are but then i just may be "OLD" Really what is the motivating factor in this look - I have asked a few younger women but none has yet to say anything other than all the hair is just gross - certainly there must be more than that.

This article was amazingly awesome! I could definetly relate with everything you wrote...I don't feel so bad for acting like a nervous clutz! I felt so vunerable for being so exposed to a complete stranger. I did it purely out of curiousity & I must say that it was definetly worth it. As far as the top of the "V" I definetly said "GOD,Jesus,&Jehovah" all in the same breath during that part. Its somewhat barbaric when you think about it,but all in all it does leave you feeling nice,clean, & refreshed =)

I felt like I was reading an entry from my own diary! Thank you, this was very funny and made me feel more normal for bouncing around while removing my jeans and blabbering like a jackass during these things. It is SO intimate and therefore I guess I feel the need to talk? Another thing I do about a half hour beforehand is down 4 advil (without alcohol on account of the liver damage) and it really helps to alleviate the pain!

Too funny! I would be scared to death to have this done! But, I think it was awesome to hear someone tell the tale so truthfully! That's the way we should all be. Just spill it out!

Oh my, that was hilarious. I've got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Demystified almost everything. I'll think again about getting a Brazilian.

Well...what a great article. I went searching online this morning looking for some advice on getting a Brazilian as I will be going to my first appointment today. I happen to be going on a cruise with my long term boyfriend for his birthday and decided to surprise him with something new. Yeah, I could have bought sexy lingerine instead but I knew this would be something he would enjoy. I am a big wuss when it comes to waxing, waxing my eyebrows hurts...hehe. But I am just going to go for it especially after reading this in depth article. HE BETTER APPRECIATE IT...hahaha. I always get the comment that I have two big tattoos one of which is on my rib cage (which hurt like hell), I should be able to withstand waxing with no problem...we'll see....

Barry's tale caught my eye and made me remember this from when I was a medic in the Army. I called a soldier back into an exam room and, reading his complaint as V.D., started asking him the appropriate questions. He hemmed and hawed and finally said, "I don't think I have VD. I think I have hemorrhoids." When I asked him why he had written V.D., he told me that having hemorrhoids would be _too embarrassing_.

Very funny story... but it doesn't make me want to wax! If you want to shave try the products from Hair Care Down There... they're made for that delicate area. Waxing... ouch!

The four point stance caught my eye because as a male I had a problem that put me in a similar vulnerable position. I had hemmorrhoids, the kind that really hurt and you can't treat with what do you call it, WD-40, no it's Preparation H. So the Doc at the ER told me to get drop my pants and shorts, climb up on the table on all fours. What made this embarassing was that I was an EMT on the ambulance and knew all of the nurses who held my cheeks apart. I was expecting a lot of pain, but the stinging from the shot was over quick. Than I didn't feel the lancing at all. Yet the embarsssment was still there. Whereas the writer had someone unkwown of the same sex performing the waxing. But one of the nurses was a real pro and knew exactly what to do to break the ice. As I was stepping into my boxers, she came up, put her arms around me and said,"Barry, You didn't want to be a perfect asshole anyway!" That had us all rolling on the floor and my embarassment vanished instantly.THANKS NURSE

It's truly amazing what women will go through! I can't imagine doing this myself.

i am still lmao! that was a GREAT article. i had a brazilian for the first time about 5 years ago. my baby sister talked me into trying it and i have to say it was one of the best experiences of my life. it made me feel much more confident and sexy, especially when anticipating a first time with a new lover. he was absolutely blown away that i could be so wild and uninhibited. i was 45 and he was 30 at the time. that was 5 years ago, and i haven't slowed down yet. the only thing i want to add to you brave ladies is DON'T FORGET TO MOISTURIZE DOWN BELOW DAILY! i am african american with curly hair so when the hairs began to grow back after the first time. i had a few ingrown hairs that caused such tenderness, i wasn't able to wear panties or pants for several days (and that's a story for another day :-)

Sheesh! Note the quote on the first page of the article says you need to mow the grass to sell the house. It says MOW, not rip it all out or leave just a little strip of it out front. Now TRIMMED, tidy, well-kept grass is a good thing. Bottom line for me is that hairless pubic areas is for pre-adolescence and I think it's a shame we've gone farther down the road of being ashamed of our body hair to the point we'll PAY a stranger to put hot wax on the most sensitive parts of our anatomy in order to rip all the hair off of it. What a silly thing to do because it's in fashion and you can't be chic unless you're doing it too. When does it stop? When you've been "purchased"? When you're "old"?