The Real Me

About a year and a half ago, I got tired of relaxing (straightening) my hair every six weeks. Why would I relax it every six weeks? Well, I would have to go back over 100 years to give you that reason. I cannot and will not ever understand why African-originated features have always been seen as unattractive, but our hair is no exception. One of the main features that define us from other races (apart from our skin, of course) is our hair. From Indonesian, to Pacific Islander, to African cultures, the hair is distinct from other ethnicities in other regions (my apologies for missing some ethnicities—I am sure I am). You would think this would make us exotic, but unfortunately, it made those with very curly hair seem to be the opposite—something to fear. That fear was pronounced in hate, along with something to denounce. So it should not come as a shock to Americans that the first black millionairess in the USA was Madame CJ Walker, the inventor of the first relaxer.

Black women were lining up in drones to get their hands on the little “miracle in a jar”. It would finally allow them to have hair that was free of very curly hair, something closer to straight, European hair. From that point on, in many black families, women were passing this little miracle in a jar to their daughters from generation to generation. My family is no exception in this. I can still remember the day my mother allowed me to skip school so that she could have my hair relaxed for the first time, and then have lunch with my father so that I could show off my new straight, long hair. I kind of laugh at this now and think how ridiculous that was. But when you think that is what is supposed to happen, you think it is the norm. Please do not think my parents are not educated. Between both of my parents, they hold 4 degrees. They were both raised by men and women who held advanced degrees as well. Acquiring a higher education is not an option in my family, but a requirement. But you also have to remember, they received degrees from schools established in a society that told all of America that African descent hair is ‘different’, and again, not in a good way.