4. We Don’t Sweat It
Photo courtesy of HollywoodFashionTape.com
We work hard at being perfect, but not so hard that you can see us break a sweat. Duh! Perspiration ruins our makeup, our fancy fabrics, and our reputations too. The fact that you don’t see us sweat doesn’t always mean we’ve paralyzed our sweat glands. Sometimes it means we’ve stuck a moisture-wicking disposable garment shield to the underarms of our outfits.
5. We Don’t Stand for Lines
Photo courtesy of ShibueCouture.com
Fabrics keep getting thinner as does our patience with visible panty lines. For a while, the g-string was the ultimate in seamless style until a string escaped a pair of painfully clenched cheeks and appeared on someone’s radar. Now there’s a new “ultimate seamless” in town—the strapless g-string. That’s right, now we can tape a strip of cloth to our hoohoos to free our fretting selves from the nuisance of visible panty lines.
Photo courtesy of Laurensilva.com
We could say that we are going braless because we want to feel and look natural, but the truth is that the last thing we want is to look natural. We want to look unnaturally perfect with boobs ahoy, nipples airbrushed out, and straps invisible. We don’t want to have to watch a twenty-minute DVD on how to use that convertible bra we bought to wear with special occasion outfits, so we opt for nipple covers that hide natural reactions while hoisting up the ladies. These “bring it up, smooth and lift, reusable nipple covers” offer bringing, smoothing, lifting, and reusing and all without a twenty minute how-to.
Photo courtesy of Spanx.com
Spanx first reshaped our thighs and bottoms with their Power Panty and now they have the rest of us covered with ultra-sheer, high-waisted, body-slimming pantyhose that extend from invisible reinforced toe up to the bra line. It whittles our middles so we don’t have to bother with exercise, smoothes away all our wobbly bits, and doubles as a scuba suit. It even includes a cotton double gusset that opens for when Mother Nature calls. Rumor has it the next design will include a vent for oxygen.
