I have a friend who loathes her engagement ring. She has unbelievable style, and so does her husband-to-be. They’re both ridiculous over-packers and flea market geniuses, able to make air-brushed t-shirts and “art teacher sweaters” look right somehow. So when her one and only proposed with a very proper ring, there was only one word to say.
Huh?
The ring rang wrong. It was beautiful, but not her, too conservative and delicate. Many months after saying “yes,” she still looks at her left hand and says “no.”
Life is not a Zales commercial. Proposals aren’t always perfectly orchestrated in front of a fountain or a fireplace. Buying a ring is stressful. And it’s easy to forget that even when you’re doing something as conventional as getting hitched, you can go about it in an entirely unconventional way. A good place to start is to choose a ring that feels like yours and yours alone, just like that guy you’re going to wake up next to for the next fifty years.
Here’s one way to avoid engagement ring trauma: once it’s been established that you’re on your way toward getting hitched, it’s all right to drop a hint about what you like. (Complimenting a friend’s ring you like in front of him: Subtle. Sending him a link to tiffany.com: Subtle like a sledgehammer.) If your guy is the type who breaks out into a sweat when he even thinks about choosing a ring, let him know in your own way that a placeholder would be OK until you find “the one” together.
As far as more conventional rings go, I get why barracudas and brides are attracted to shiny things. They’re precious, sparkly, and rare. But a rock the size of a cordless mouse doesn’t make sense for a lot of people. A traditional solitaire can feel audacious and impractical if you wear it every day in every day situations, like, in the dog park—where a girl’s best friend is definitely not five-carat bling. Here are a few suggestions for bucking the boring bridal trend:
