No Ring? Let’s Not Go There

By: Shannon Kelly (View Profile)

Ultimately, an engagement ring is nothing but a status symbol—equivalent to chrome spinner rims. If only a diamond came with a side of Prozac, it just might work.

It’s Not a Tradition—It’s a Sales Pitch.

The “tradition” of giving a diamond ring as part of an engagement contract didn’t evolve organically. It was created for one reason: to sell diamonds.

In the late 1930s, a De Beers marketing campaign suggested that men buy their fiancées diamond rings, and spend one-month’s salary doing it (these days the ante has been upped to two month’s salary). De Beers used every trick in the book, from loaning movie stars diamond rings and arranging for fashion editors to discuss diamonds to creating an official-sounding organization (the Diamond Information Center) to release statistics about diamonds to the media. We’ve been manipulated, over seventy-plus years, to want diamond engagement rings.

There’s Nothing Special About It.

According to the Diamond Information Center, more than 80 percent of engaged women get a diamond ring. Special would be something that’s truly unique and reflects your unique relationship.

They’re a Rip-Off.

We’ve been duped into paying more than diamonds are actually worth. Once upon a time, diamonds were expensive because they were rare. But huge diamond deposits discovered from the late 19th century onward mean that today there are enough for a third of all the women in the world ages 20–39 to get a .25-carat diamond ring, were they all to get engaged in the same year.

Prices remain high only because De Beers, which holds a near-monopoly on the diamond industry, regulates how many gems enter the marketplace, and has convinced consumers that engagement rings are too sentimental to sell. (The slogan “a diamond is forever” was a De Beers invention.)

It’s One-Sided.

An engagement ring is a neon sign the screams “taken.” But why doesn’t he wear an engagement ring to proclaim he’s off the market? What’s up with that?

It’s a Messy Business.

Widespread media attention given to conflict diamonds (a.k.a blood diamonds) in the late 1990s, fueled the creation of a certification program, the Kimberly Process, to ensure that diamonds purchased are conflict-free. As yet, the system is far from perfect, with numerous reports of forged documents and smuggling from war-torn regions. As a consumer, it’s hard to know if a diamond you buy is truly conflict-free.

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posted: 11.01.2008
Marj K
I have a modest engagement ring that I still wear nearly 3 years in. I rarely wear any jewelry besides that and the plain band next to it, and am not jewelry hungry or fashion concious at all. That said I agree with many of the things you said. If my beloved had preferred to go another route for our engagement, I'd have been happy with that, but he is a pretty conservative. We did do our best to avoid conflict diamonds and did not spend two months of his salary. Still, I think it was sweet of him to want to give it to me, and wouldn't ruin one of his rare, sometimes clumsy romantic gestures for the world.
posted: 06.29.2008
Sara
My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for wanting tattooed rings for us, as do most of our family members, but I just really hate wearing jewelry. He's not terribly upset about having to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a shiny rock, but he still wants the metal wedding rings. This is why he's still my boyfriend. ;)
posted: 03.28.2008
Rachel Rose
Thank you! I've been married for 4 years, and although I'll wear a turquoise or amber... and only if I feel like it... I was never interested in having an engagement ring. People would always ask to see my "sparkler" and I always proudly offered my bare finger.
posted: 01.08.2008
L R Muse
25 years married - - but about 5 years ago, took the ring off and had "tatted" on my ring finger heart with my husband's initial and a rose which is my middle name. Thanks for the standing up for the truth about the rings.
posted: 01.07.2008
J Flynn
Over twenty- six years ago I preferred a down payment on a home over an egagement ring and have never changed my mind.
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