From the outside, they all appear the same. Some might be a bit larger than others, some a bit softer, but you never really know what you’re getting—until your number is called at a White Elephant Gift Exchange.
The best numbers to draw are the highest ones, especially if people with low numbers are shy, new to the game, or haven’t drunk enough wine. Those players won’t steal, taunt, or grab. They’ll gently open new gifts each time, yielding a crop of interesting choices by the time you step up—to steal, or choose an unwrapped gift. Here’s where the fun starts.
Sometimes people steal a gift because the first opener appeared to really like it. Some White Elephant participants call this great fun. Others think it’s rude. Don’t invite these people back again. Stealing should be encouraged, as it gets the whole festive holiday giving mood rolling.
True veterans of the game sometimes open their own gift to draw interest, or be assured of getting something that won’t totally suck, while others approach the game like bad community theater actors, feigning disappointment drizzled with meager acceptance. “Oh darn. Diamond earrings. Again.”
When a potential stealer eyes their gift they might whisper comments like, “It says it’s made in Cambodia by mute orphans with no hands.” Followed by, “It’s definitely fake gold, guaranteed to turn your ears green, and hey, wasn’t this given by Susie? Didn’t they just have an outbreak of highly contagious whooping cough in her house?” Then they’ll sigh. “I guess I’ll have to suffer.”
But most of us aren’t that lucky. Instead of diamond earrings we get candles and coffee mugs, reindeer antlers for our cars and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. melamine cereal bowls. We’ve all been there. You open the box and pray someone out there collects frogs, or thinks pink is the new black, because God knows, you can’t use the thing you just opened and you’re not even sure you’d want to re-gift it to the mail lady.
According to Wikipedia, a white elephant is a possession of questionable value whose upkeep exceeds its usefulness, and is therefore a liability. Unfortunately at the parties I’ve been to no yachts or Manhattan penthouses surfaced. Apparently my friends find mallard duck boxes, strawberry body lotion, and vinyl lace Santa tablecloths liabilities.
A recent White Elephant party invite had me stumped. The price limit was $15–20 per couple.
