Bridging an Unbridgeable Gap at Work

The following Monday, Sarah went to Rob and said, “I’ve hired a career coach to help me become a better manager. In working with him, I’ve realized that one of my main goals is to get in better sync with you. I really want to understand what you need from me and how I can help you be more successful.”

The following day, Keith called Rob and introduced himself as Sarah’s coach. There was a long silence, and then Rob emitted a long, heartfelt sigh of relief. He began to talk, admitting that, like Sarah, he’d been quite frustrated with their failure to communicate. He felt that Sarah was out of touch with the corporate goals (not to mention his own personal goals). Each time they spoke, he sensed she was reacting to his needs rather than simply listening to them and comprehending them. As a result, she seemed to view every change or new idea as a threat rather than an opportunity.

As they talked, Keith gained a new insight into the dynamic between Rob and Sarah. In Rob’s eyes, whenever Sarah challenged or questioned his explicit goals, she was also challenging his implicit goals. Conversely, whenever Rob challenged Sarah’s explicit goals, he was also challenging her implicit goals.

The conflict between them really had less to do with corporate strategies or work duties than they’d imagined. It was mainly about a new boss trying to look good and a long-time employee trying to maintain her dignity in the face of disruptive, disconcerting change.

Thankfully, there was no basis for any fundamental conflict between Rob and Sarah. Rob had no need (explicit or implicit) to send a talented veteran manager packing during his first month on the job, and Sarah had no need to end her successful and happy career at the firm. Both really wanted to try to make their new partnership work. So Keith jumped in and spent time with each of them in private, reviewing their explicit needs and helping them interpret their implicit needs. Acting as a bridge, he connected them to one another with a plan that they could each commit to, build on, and maintain.