At some point in our careers, most of us are forced to work with someone whose people skills can only be described as atrocious. Sometimes our companies wisely get rid of these people, but they are like weeds. Pluck one, and within seconds another will sprout up in its place. The dread that comes with having to regularly interact with someone who is routinely negative, argumentative, stressed out or mean can make your job a wholly unpleasant experience—if you let it.
Your first instinct might be to go out of your way to avoid working with Mr. (or Ms.) Difficult, and if you can pull it off, more power to you. Often, though, this is not an option, and whether Mr. Difficult is your boss, a colleague, or a senior executive, you must prepare for each meeting with him like you are going into battle. Swallow your apprehension. Remind yourself that no one has the power to control how you feel and suit up your armor so that nothing he says or does wounds you deeply. Take a deep breath and walk calmly into Mr. Difficult’s office. Speak to him in a controlled, cheerful, and reasonable tone. Get the information you need and get out. Negativity and stress can be highly contagious, so don’t allow yourself to get sucked in.
Mr. Difficult’s arrows can be easier to deflect when he’s an equal opportunity shooter. You might even joke about him with your other colleagues: “Oh, you’re working with Mr. Difficult on that? I’m so sorry. I hear a bunch of people are getting a hitman if you want to contribute.” It’s easy to become demoralized, however, when Mr. Difficult saves his best poison just for you. One of my early bosses, for example, couldn’t stand me. She was sweet as apple pie to the rest of our colleagues, and to the best of my knowledge, I didn’t do anything specific to incur her wrath. Inexplicably, though, whenever I came around she turned into the wicked witch of the west.
Your best bet in this type of scenario is to sit down with your Mr. Difficult and have a heart to heart. Tell him how you are feeling, assume that he doesn’t mean to act like the devil incarnate and give him the benefit of the doubt. Solicit his feedback regarding how the two of you can improve the relationship and then give him a chance to do right by you. If this doesn’t work and he continues to regularly use you as target practice, remove yourself from the situation. No job is worth your self-esteem.
