Real Girl For Hire

By: Meryl Otis Kessler (View Profile)

I am frightened. A crisis is looming. I can already feel it. And I wonder: Am I giving up? What will I do without my identity as a media princess, an aspiring queen of a media empire? I need my crown, my social network, my expense account. Will I even know who I am without a business card that clearly shouts, “Voila! C’est moi!”? This is a significant turning point in my life. 

The changes I face are very difficult for me to accept. My mother always told me that there is no comfort in change, but little personal growth without it. Well, it’s personal growth that I choose – in a big way. I'm pregnant. 

That was 7 years ago. 

Now I have two beautiful children, and I get to experience life through the eyes of a 4 year old and a 7 year old. Molly shows me the beauty in shells and pretend-princesses and silly dances. Jason teaches me a new life at lightning speed; by now, I pitch a baseball better than any mom in town. What these two teach me goes far beyond the syllabus of all those leading-and-managing-people courses I took almost a decade ago. 

I’m lucky. 

Opting out of the workforce has given me so many new rewards, so many new ways to measure my performance, even a new crown to wear. In fact, I may never have discovered my new passion had I not lived through the ups and downs of stay-at-home motherhood. 

That passion is the promise of the Women’s Movement, a world where women can be successful at home and at the office, simultaneously. While the world has changed dramatically for women since 1963 when Betty Friedan wrote “The Feminine Mystique,” far too many of the old roadblocks remain, stubbornly stuck in place. Yes, women today can go speeding towards any and all educational and career aspirations. There are far fewer speed bumps in getting equal pay for equal work when compared with our male counterparts. 

Increasingly we find fewer hurdles when competing with men for top executive positions; in fact, we are on the up-ramp in securing these posts. We are even told that we’ve earned the right to opt in or opt out of the workforce. Ah, but that’s where we often get stopped dead in our tracks. Exercising that right comes with a big price to pay, and offers many roadblocks that are bigger than anyone could have anticipated. I know this. 

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Comments
posted: 08.09.2007
Missy Ferwerda
'Big' can come in so many forms. Big is being the propriety or your own bakery-albeit it unprofitable and your business cards have coffee stains on them. Big is leaving Wall Street to follow your passion of music and teaching violin at inner city after-school programs. Big is being confident in your decision to stay at home with your children and keeping that confidence when it's time to go back to work. You went Big and you'll continue to go Big!
posted: 02.02.2007
Sharonda Penn
That was extremely refreshing to read. It is so wonderful that you have decided and pursing an interest to re-entering into the workforce. I just hope that it's not as hard for you as it has been for me. The best part of you re-entering into the workforce is allowing your children to see mom working, being independant, and doing her "thing". Believe me they will be just as proud of their mom as you should be of yourself. Good Luck.
posted: 02.01.2007
Julie Brownfield
Great article! Thank you for sharing.
posted: 01.27.2007
Off  Theramp
Throw away the tiara, Meryl, unless you've got a direct connection to Disney. Who needs those inherited titles anyway? Any employer who looks askance at the fact that you took time off to to work your butt off at a job whose remuneration will never make the mortgage payment is an employer you don't want to work for. Something wonderful is going to come your way without the help of a fairy godmother.
posted: 01.25.2007
Sue Jacobs
Thank you, Meryl, for a piece that speaks volumes to the executive mom in all of us, who proudly shout YES! There IS a lapse of time on my resume because I was busy being a mother! I have faith in you to navigate that bumpy on ramp and get back into the cruising lane. Please submit another article so we can ride along with you!! Sue
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